Biker Lifestyle

I guess it only takes 4 steps to be a real biker: Welcome to the new age of being biker.

 

Just like the title of the post states, Welcome to the new age of being a biker. Now, the video is supposed to be a funny parody of what many out there are really thinking a biker is supposed to be. Yes, personally I found it funny as hell, but the undertones of the video are something that always comes up in the real world.

1. You have to ride a Harley Davidson to be a real biker.
You have to give it to Harley, they did an awesome marketing and brainwash job going all the way back to the Vietnam Era. One of those little peckers in a suit was pretty smart, look at was going on in the biker culture, see what defined rebellion, then take that and mix it with the Harley brand. Actually, it was quite genius because they built such a loyal following off that, they got free marketing off every biker’s body with the tattoos and word of mouth. Then enter the clothing business which basically makes Harley more money than selling actual bikes and gives the company even more free advertising, while charging $60 a fucking t-shirt. Genius business model.

I own a Fatboy, shit, I’ve owned a dozen of Harley Davidsons. I’ve never once looked down on anyone riding a foreign bike. I was always looking at the man who was riding the scooter. I could give two shits if they were on a Honda or Yamaha. I never bought into that “American Made” crap either. Everyone knows Harley isn’t “All-American” anymore, half the parts on the bike are from overseas. So, no you do not need a Harley Davidson to be a biker. To be a biker is in your heart and the validity of your word to others. That’s what makes a biker, not no fucking make and model of a bike.

2. You can not wear a helmet if you want to be a real biker.
Bullshit, though I prefer not to wear one, that’s my choice. Being a biker is supposed to be about following your own path in life and not someone else’s. If you want to throw on a lid, that’s your choice, fuck everyone that says it’s not needed.

3. You have to dress the part to be a Real Biker

Before you go out and spend hundreds of dollars on new leathers and all the pretty t-shirts from Harley Davidson, know the gear is not what makes you a biker. Shit, the age-old story you have to have boots on to be considered a real biker still blows my mind. I’m a Chi-town kid, grew up in a mostly Latino neighboorhood and never once gave a shit about wearing boots while riding. I prefer wearing Converse, riding or not. As far as a vest, I wear the same one that I’ve worn for the last twenty years, a black denim vest. I hate wearing leather in the summer, the only time I will break out the leather is when it gets fucking cold out. Those on the West Coast will relate lol. But dress the way you want to dress, someone says something, well, tell them to go hump a goat or something.

4. You have to drink tons of alcohol and party like an asshole to be a real biker.

Yea no, personally I haven’t had a drink since 1997. When I go to parties I like to be able to have my senses, especially when riding in a pack. I cannot tell you how many funerals I went to because brothers got stupid drunk and wrapped a bike around a fucking telephone pole. A good party is badass, but you don’t have to take it to the level of being an ass-monkey just to be considered a biker.

Being a biker is a lifestyle, one that most people who get the bug, never get rid of. Their whole life revolves around being a Biker. This is why a lot of old school guys look at this new generation with disgust. Why a lot of bikers in clubs look at Leo’s in disgust. We wake up every day with a set of principles that we abide by. Honor, Loyalty, and Respect. This lifestyle isn’t a joke to us, it’s not a weekend hobby that if we get bored of it we just move onto something else. We invest heavily in our rides, but more importantly, we invest heavily in our character and brothers. To have that watered down by someone who doesn’t take the lifestyle serious is something that creates the discord between old and new. Remember that next time you call someone brother you do not know.

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One of the most common questions motorcyclists get asked is how to get involved in riding motorcycles. YouTuber Shadetree Surgeon has put together a “helpful” video explainer that tells exactly how to become a real biker in just four easy steps. Helpful, as in how the cat “helps” you read the newspaper by sitting in the middle of it.
Step one is very simple. You have to ride the right motorcycle, and Shadetree Surgeon has just one word for you: Harley-Davidson Motorcycles. They’re the loudest, they’re the most expensive, and they’re made right here in the USA. Sportsters don’t count—you want a real Harley. And forget the so-called “metric cruiser” communist bikes. “Better dead than red!”

Step two according to Shadetree? Never, ever, wear a helmet. The point of riding a motorcycle is to maximize your freedom, so “never incarcerate your head in one of those plastic prisons.” A real biker doesn’t know the meaning of the word “severe frontal lobe contusion.” If you’re unfortunate enough to ride in a state with a helmet law, wear a helmet that provides as little protection as possible. That way, when you crash and die, you become a statistic proving that helmet laws don’t work.

What you do want to wear is a leather vest with all the patches. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been to the places or done the things the patches are for. You just want to look scary. And don’t forget the rings. The more skulls the better, whether you’ve ever actually thrown a punch in anger or not. It’ll be enough to fool the teenage waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings into thinking you’re ready to tear the place apart.

And finally, never wave to anyone. The sole exception is other real bikers like you. We don’t just hand things out to everyone the way the government does, right?

Whatever you do, do not take this video seriously. Shadetree Surgeon’s tongue is so firmly implanted in his cheek it’s amazing his face is still intact. He normally rides a Ducati, a KTM, and a Triumph Rocket 3 when it isn’t in pieces in the shop (in other words, never). He and his friends have a wide variety of bikes, including Harleys but certainly not limited to them. This video merely pokes fun at Harley riders who actually think this way. Most Harley riders I’ve met aren’t like this at all, but there are always a few…

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