What Does It Mean To Be An Ol Lady
In the Motorcycle lifestyle, it is a mans world. It always has and always will be. Being an Ol Lady is a very important role in your Ol Mans life in an MC, RC, Independent, or in a 1% MC. I did not realize how important my role was until my Ol Man prospected. Here I will discuss some of the pros an cons of being a part of your Ol Mans life in the motorcycle lifestyle. Believe it or not, a woman’s role is extremely important to your Ol Mans successes and failures especially when he is a hang around and prospecting.
First and foremost, an Ol Ladies top responsibility is to see that your Ol Man is set up for success. Most folks introduced to an MC club are started out hanging around. This time is where your Ol Man has the decision whether or not the club is right for him and you too. This hang around time is where you will meet the other ladies in the direct chapter you are introduced and getting to meet the other chapter ladies.
One of the ways I made friends and supported my Ol Man, was to make sure that I prepared and planned ahead for meals and camping amenities. A great meal always brings people together and entertains great conversation. Making a great meal also brings others to be curious about you and who your Ol Man is. I remember one of my first meals I made campsite was chicken medallions wrapped in bacon with rice pilaf. I made sure there was plenty for our chapter and I made sure to share with all of the Elders I saw. This was a time we hold most gratitude to introduction….serving. An attitude of serving is a great way to show that you are willing to give and be a part. Making that one great meal evoked the other ladies to show their stuff the next rally. All of the ladies in the chapter made their best dish and we all enjoyed and had so much fun talking about our recipes.
Your Ol Man getting signatures and becoming familiar with the Elders is very important. Your Ol Man talking and engaging with the Elders will go a long way. This is why I say, “Share with your Elders”. The other reason why I always make enough for the Elders is because they are the Veterans of the Club. They are the ones that can see through a lot of bull shit and know who is genuine and who is not. So, having said that, making a great meal for everyone to talk and enjoy is a perfect way to create an impression that you are giving and supportive.
Second most important is to be friendly and non judgmental towards your new acquaintances. There are times when you will encounter the pleasure of meeting the users of any group. This is the time for you to shine. Being kind to a point is key. Saying NO is not out of the question its how you do it. We encountered the users and non participants of our group. Call it like it is and bypass their behavior but be kind. One of the issues among other club Ol Ladies, I gathered, is a negative feeling that you don’t belong because your Ol Man is just a hang around or a Prospect. This is all an immature facade. Come to find out holding on to your opinions and not talking shit really pays off. This is a test for you too. In a primitive way some people will test your boundaries and see if you keep your cool and handle your boundaries well.
Third, is stay away from Club Business talk. If your Ol Man is engaging with conversation with other men be polite and never intervene unless it is a bloody emergency. If there is a bloody emergency apologize for interrupting and state your emergency. For example, if you have a plate of hot food just wait or just offer it to your Ol Man and offer to the other men he is talking to. There is an old saying…If you wanna know about club business ask an Ol Lady. Staying out of conversation with other ladies with gossip and club business is really important and keeps your mind clear. It is a sign of maturity to the other Club Members that you are a mature woman that takes care of her man. This is also a sign that you won’t be a shit stirring woman which is a predominant issue with the division of chapters. You want to be the one that brings people together. One of the down falls of man in the hang around or Prospect time is the lack of accountability of their Ol Lady.
Get to know the older Ol Ladies. These will be the ones that are your historians of the club. Know the history of the club and what brought everyone together to create the club. This also makes great conversation with your Ol Man in the hang around and Prospect time. The older Ol Ladies will be the Nomads or Elders Ol Ladies. These are also the ones that can see through bullshit and know you are a genuine person.
Be consistent with who you are. A feeling of sisterhood will grow and you will be glad for it. These sisters will be there for you and you will be inclined to reciprocate. Being there for each other will exude to the men of the club and the bond will be strong and productive. You never know when hard times will come and your sisters and their Ol Men will be both of your support because of this bond of friendship. The unspoken brotherhood among the motorcycle lifestyle reaches far and wide. The sisterhood does as well. You are part of the glue to these men who will call each other Brothers.
I have seen this time and time again where someone is one person while their Ol Man is prospecting and finally patches in and the Ol Lady changes. Don’t allow the status to change you when your Ol Man patches in. Be who you are in the beginning and you won’t have to change a thing. This attitude change hold true for an Ol Man patching in and marriage. For what ever reason a status shift has an effect with some peoples attitudes towards others. Keep in mind that your behavior around club members will show through loud and clear. The way you want to maintain your attitude is that your Ol Man never has to answer for their Ol Ladies negative behavior. I have seen it where an Ol Man was knocked down to Prospect over some dumb shit his Ol Lady did and his Ol Lady is not allowed around club functions for a period of time. You can and will be put in a probation time and not to mention the rumors that fly after some dumb shit goes down. I have noticed this happens when folks get to drinking and chicks get an attitude toward each other and divide a chapter. Never be the focus of the division of a chapter.
There is a sensitive subject that you may encounter in the motorcycle lifestyle. Swingers! If that is your mutual gig with your Ol Man, it is a good idea refrain from certain activities while he is a hang around or Prospecting. There are so many other dynamics that are involved with getting to know a club than partying. Some couples are open minded that way and you and your Ol Man will find those couples with no problem. As with any group keep that part drama free. If that is not your gig with your Ol Man just nicely state that is not something you are open to and move on. Simple as that. The reason I bring this subject up is it has been an issue with others that feel pressured to do something just because their Ol Man is a hang around or Prospecting. This subject holds true even in the more family oriented clubs, too.
Keeping your drinking to a nice buzz is really recommended. You need to hold your liquor and don’t be that Ol Lady that is slobbering drunk and needs to be tended to regardless of your Ol Mans position. Don’t be the one that gets drunk and starts a fight with your Ol Man either. Hey, it happens and it is really embarrassing and hind sight 20/20 will hit the next day I promise. I have seen to often where a couple are having issues and dudes Ol Lady drinks to much, starts a huge fight with her Ol Man. It is just plane stupid and immature. Hold your own and keep yourself in check.
There have been times where an Ol Lady has behaved badly and there are other Ol Ladies that will kick your ass for disrespecting. I have always thought this was sad but sometimes necessary. Some ladies just don’t get the aspect of respect and the older Ol Ladies will certainly show you what that means. For example yelling and screaming at a patch member making a scene will definitely get you a beat down. Now unless you are being grouped and grabbed by another patch member get away and find your Ol Man. Not saying that is something I have seen common but, just an example. In the same aspect you are not to be degraded or disrespected if you have behaved none other than a lady.
Pass around are another term you will hear in the motorcycle community. Usually, these are ladies that love the motorcycle atmosphere but have not found the right club member to hook up with to wear a Property Of patch. These gals love dating in that particular club or among other clubs. Sometimes, I have seen this cause drama among Patch members because they date with in that club and change boyfriends till they find the right guy. The only time I have found that a pass around has been an issue among Ol Ladies is when they are very flirty and touchy with their Ol Man. This causes problems and is not tolerated with the ladies I knew. Unless, they were Swingers and it was mutually cool and encouraged. The other issue is when it is found out that a pass around is dating different clubs members that don’t like each other. The pass around is playing in the whole sand box for lack of better words. This can be dangerous and if found out she most likely will not be allowed at club functions anymore.
Being a Property Of was an honor for me because the club was right for my Ol Man. I knew that our home life and our life in the club were not different. I was a proud PO because my Ol Man wore that patch with respect and pride. I loved the bond we all had for each other and felt a strong sense of gratitude for the people we knew. Most of all I love all the fun being in a club. We planned out rally weekends and really looked forward to them.
My experiences with my Ol Man and myself getting to know a club will differ from yours but I wanted to share a few topics I wish that I knew from the beginning. Most of all getting to know a club should be fun and exciting. There are so many great women in the motorcycle community. I hope this was helpful and I look forward to hearing from you with questions or comments.
Please feel free to email me.